Freeganarchy in the UK

While we're on about dumpster diving, I'm going to write more about it because it's a good thing and it could save your life one day son. I'm just looking out for you.

If you are currently in the dark about this subject, "dumpster diving," "freeganism" and "skipping" (allegedly? i have never heard anyone use this who hadn't just heard of the term from the internet which in my opinion doesn't count) are all terms which are used to describe, basically, finding a large supermarket (or other likely commercial property) waste receptacle and catapulting yourself into its dankest depths in order to reap its bounty, which is very often ... bountiful.

"mood swings," more like "mood plummets."

Sitting inbetween bedsheets I'm supposed to be changing whilst Angry Busker goes foraging. Our local supermarket has just one dumpster, which stands on its own with an open lid just BEGGING to be dived (dove? diven? dovened?) into, it's a real luxury -- except for the fact that it's a 30-minute walk away and we live at the top of a giant hill. Anyway, he's there and I'm here, feeling better after a day of feeling like microwaved shit.

I have to confess that I am worried about how my hormones are going to affect my moods. Usually just before my period I get BAFFLING mood swings, and I don't mean they swing from really good to really bad; actually they go from "eh" to "literally lost the will to live." Yep, IT'S PEACHY, I'm sure some of you can relate! However now that my hormone levels are, I dunno, BREAKING THE SCALES, I can't help but think some serious shit is going to go down over the next seven months+. How did, or do, you feel?

MOVING SWIFTLY ON to good things about today:

• I CAN KNIT IN THE ROUND??????!!!! No matter what I did to get this right since I first tried it WEEKS ago, it did not work. I was starting to lose it. It was getting heavy. So I stopped trying it and knitted a garter-stitch mitten to chill my beans, and then tonight I just tried it on a whim and FUCKING.... TA-DAA, I CAN DO IT. I don't know what the heck I did but I think I deserve to brush my shoulders off! 

• My mother's Sunday roast. Awwwwwwww yisssssss.

• I KIND OF feel like I can maybe sing again. 

Now I'm going to change these bedsheets like a boss. Good night to you. x

YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!!!

Most of us know that there are some things -- usually extremely delicious things -- that pregnant people shouldn't eat, or shouldn't eat much of. So you think, okay, well, I'm sure going to MISS all that stuff, but I'm  going to be ~*good*~ and not eat any of it because ~*~*it's all about the baby now*~*~ and yadda.

The hilarious thing they never tell you is that when you get pregnant? All those things you can't eat? THEY'RE ALL YOU WANT TO EAT!  HA HA HA. It's just Mother Nature's way of saying "fuck you bitch, I hate you."

But maybe I'm just a little oversensitive to that because I've had issues with food, on and off, for about five years. When I was in my late teens I verrrryyy slowwwwllyy developed anorexia, gradually limiting my nutrition more and more; and the more I did that, the harder I forced my body to work. Eventually at the age of 19 I was so weak and tired that a chilly winter weekend in Amsterdam was completely ruined by the fact that EVERY time I went outside my extremities went numb, almost immediately, and my entire body ached like a rotten tooth. At home -- yep, even in England -- I had to be swaddled in heavy clothes and coats 24 hours a day. It got old, so I tried to get help from my doctor, who didn't really help at all but I think due to stubbornness more than anything I had decided to "get better" and so that was what I would do.

in which i finally land on planet pregnancy

So, it seems I might have an April Fool's baby. Know who else was born on the 1st of April? Susan Boyle! AND: Haydn! AM I GROWING A MUSICAL GENIUS??????? Signs point to yes!

001

Hello friends!

About four weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant. It seemed like a good thing to write a blog about, so that's my excuse. (Is saying that breaking some kind of fourth wall? Yeah. I know what I'm doing.)

I'm young -- over two decades younger than my mother was when I was born, and even her mother was well into her forties. And I could tell you about all my other special sparkly princess problems which complicate my impending motherhood but I don't want to shoot my wad, so basically: if we consulted a jury of goody-two-shoes Brady Bunch middle-class supermothers (and you know how they love to be on a jury), they would tell me it's "not the right time."

Nevertheless, for me getting pregnant felt curiously right, as though something had shifted my life onto another set of tracks, and to undo it would be trying to turn back something which needed to go forward. So, tomorrow my little intruder will be 8 weeks into its cooking time. Good luck soldier!

As for me, pregnancy aside: I'm a beginner knitter, somebody who writes stuff like blogs and poems and stories and that, a dumpster diver, a hitch-hiker and a casual reader of tarot cards. My partner-in-crime is an angry busker with hair long enough to use as a means of trapping large game animals. He hates hang drums and players thereof, but loves the Foetus.

The term 'kaleidoscopic foetus' was originally a joke band name Angry Busker came up with when we had to call ourselves something for a gig. (It was MERCILESSLY shot down.) Wiki says "kaleidoscope" is derived from the Ancient Greek καλός (kalos), "beautiful, beauty",^[2] εἶδος (eidos), "that which is seen: form, shape"^[3] and σκοπέω (skopeō), "to look to, to examine",^[4] hence "observer of beautiful forms," which still kinda works!

Tomorrow morning at stupid o' clock is our first midwife appointment. See you there. :)